I have the hardest time trying to pray.
I mean, honestly, I be feeling like it’s boring.
Like, I talk to God. I tell Him my needs. I tell Him my wants. I may complain about a person who I don’t like too much and why they’re the problem (cuz in my mind, why would I EVER be the problem🤷🏾♀️) and then I probably get quiet for 2 seconds, then throw my hands in the air cuz I don’t hear a response, so I go about my day.
Did I pray today to feel like I’m a good little Christian?
Check ✅
How fair is that though?
If my friend called me up and talked non stop and never let me get a word in, unloaded her day on me and hung up the phone…I’d probably, no, I WOULD BE hot.
But don’t I do God like that?
Man, this walk with God is hard sometimes, y’all.
I really do love God. I love Him for real, but talking to Him…it gets hard for me. And I’m so dang easily distracted!!!
My mind is always busy. There’s always some place to go, a room to clean, a thing to do for my son, an event I don’t wanna miss…I thrive on having an overactive calendar and to be honest, I be tryna do anything, ANYTHING to stop from sitting still.
I HATTTEEE sitting still.
I hate dealing with emotions.
I hate looking back over my life and thinking about how I failed as a mama, or friend, or sister, or daughter.
I hate thinking on all the times I promised God I wouldn’t do something, only to turn around and break His heart anyway.
I’m so sorry, God.
I’m so sorry.
“If we are faithless [do not believe and are untrue to Him], He remains true (faithful to His Word and His righteous character), for He cannot deny Himself.”
2 Timothy 2:13 AMPC
Or in less, yet still powerful words…
“If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is.”
2 Timothy 2:13 NLT
Wow.
God cannot deny Who He is—
Faithful.
I may not be faithful in my prayer life. I may mess up over and over and over, but it brings tears to my eyes to know He won’t stop being faithful to me just because I ain’t faithful in return.
I’m grateful.
I will do better with prayer. I will do better in allowing God to be God in my life because I have to. Jesus paid too high a price for me not to. But I’m so so full of thankfulness.. I’m soooo greatful for God not giving up on me, on us. I’m grateful that He’s patient and gives me time to grow, mature and slowly, painfully, come to Him with the things that hurt me to my core.
His love is so amazing.
He truly loves us y’all. He’s ready, waiting, for our hearts to turn to Him and stay with Him.
When we’re faithless, He’s faithful.
I love You so much God.
Thank You for Your consistent faithfulness.
In a world that was created by You, a world that may forget You, may You find more and more of us running back to You. May You find us with hearts open to You.
Please. Help us to be faithful.
Help me to be faithful to You.
You will have my heart forever.
Love,
Your daughter,
Key♥️
