It’s a word so small and so short, yet it holds so much power. It holds the power to choke out dreams, to demolish hopes, and to stop the bravest person in their tracks. Fear plays no favorites and it follows no plan. It can take over at any time, any place, and with every intent to make itself noticed.
I am one person who has had a lot of fears.
Fear of failure.
Fear of debt and being straight up broke.
Fear of forever being single.
Fear that I suck at motherhood.
Fear that one day I’ll be in front of Jesus and He’ll look blankly at me like, “Ummm, who are you again?”
I have a TON of fears.
To be honest, I recently made up my mind that I’m gonna be all in with God. (Yes, I’ve told Him that before many many times, but I am really trying to be serious about it for real now).
When talking to God, I almost wept because all I could say was, “God…I’m scared.”
I’m sure He knew exactly what I meant when I said that without even having to explain, but for reading and/or listening purposes of this blog, I’ll elaborate.
I am freakin’ terrified of really surrendering to Jesus Christ.
When people say that they are sold out completely for Christ, it’s no walk in the park. They have to go through some stuff for that faith. They have to encounter some issues, pass some tests, and have probably gone through the fire for the faith that they hold on so tightly to. I mean, I love the Lord, but oftentimes, I’m good not making too many waves, staying complacent, and sittin’ back chillin’, hoping that the enemy doesn’t see me as a threat and therefore, won’t bother me.
That sounds freakin’ dumb.
No matter what I do, the enemy will see me as a threat off the mere fact that I love Jesus and I want it known. I want to see people excited about what Jesus says about us. I want to get people to break open their bibles and see how good it really is. Sometimes I find myself reading passages in the bible and my heart gets all warm and happy. I get so excited because the words I read not only give me joy and peace, but I know in my heart that they are true because my Daddy in Heaven inspired every word. And my God tells no lies. His Word is not a lie.
The other day, while again recounting how scared I am to completely be all in with God, I was reminded of this scripture and boy, did it come right on time.
Psalm 34:4 (NLT): I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.
He freed me from all my fears. My God can free me and you from ALL our fears.
No fear is too big for Him to battle. No fear is too great for him to tackle.
God cares about every fear of our hearts and I’m positive He wants us to trust Him to take care of each and every one. It may not be immediate, and I need to learn to stop wanting everything to be defeated so quickly. That’s not always how things go on this journey with the Lord. But if I just take my time, take all my fears to His feet, cry out to Him about what scares me, what terrifies me…I believe He will take care of me. I believe that one by one I’ll see each fear disappear. I believe that one day, I’ll be able to have that ‘Peter, jump out the boat and walk on water to Jesus’ type of faith. I just gotta trust.
God, I am so scared to give You every piece of me. I’m scared to tell You to have Your way. I’m scared because I don’t know what kind of life that declaration of faith will lead me to. I don’t like being uncomfortable. I don’t like too much change and I know You Jesus… You tend to come in and change some things. You won’t let me stay selfish. You won’t let me stay worrying about little ol’ me. You will grow me, stretch me, and shape me, and it will be good and all for Your glory, but I know it will not be pleasant all the time. That right there keeps me scared and keeps me bound and shackled to fear. But I am so tired of living scared. I am tired of knowing what You offer and turning Your offer down because of the unknown. I am tired of risking not having the abundant life You promised because I’m scared.
Fear, forget you. You have no place here with me anymore. I am sick and tired of you. I won’t let you rob me of my dreams or my joy anymore. I won’t let you leave me paralyzed anymore. God has taken residence within me and there is no place for both you and Him. So I am telling you now, I want you out. God has so much for me to do and I’ve wasted enough time. I’m ready to go where He tells me to go, say what He tells me to say, and do what He tells me to do. This Christian life isn’t easy. But nothing worth it ever is.
I release my fears to You, Lord. I trust You to handle each and every one. Please, give me courage, give me boldness, give me strength, and help me to stop being scared of what’s to come. There’s no need to be scared and You know why? Because no matter what lies ahead of me, You’re already there. No matter what I’ve went through in my past, You were there. You never ever ever leave me, and because of that fact, I have nothing to fear. May You, my God, continue to be my fear slayer. I love You now, always, and forever.
This song just encourages me so much:)