So yesterday, I almost got killed.
Seriously…I was in my car, Luca 2.0, (yes, Luca is now 2.0 because I traded the old Luca in for a beautiful, red red Honda Accord that is named Luca 2.0)..ok, I got off topic. So, I was praying and driving down the street from the gym and in my side view, I see this woman speeeediinnng like she was right in every way when she was all the way wrong.
Well, I start to think to myself, she just HAS to be slowing down at some point because my light is green and everyone on her side of the road has stopped. But nope, on she speeds. I hit on my brakes just in time as she hits on her brakes, too.
I stare at her (with an attitude in my shades; sorry Daddy, but she needed that stare from death for almost ending my life and not even apologizing).
Thank God no one was hurt and no one was behind me when I slammed on my brakes. And I won’t lie, I was shook. (I was for real shook thinking about my old car and how those brakes were starting to be iffy, so thank GOD for new car brakes).
But then I thought to myself, “enemy, if this is you tryna take me out, ummmm you must don’t know the God I serve.” Not asking for a death wish by no means, I just know these days the enemy is getting craftier when it comes to me and I recognize that I can’t let that stuff phase me no mo’ (and yes, I said no mo’, lol).
I can’t go back to being who I used to be.
I gotta keep moving forward and becoming the woman God wants me to be.
Beards are EVERYWHERE now. I am a lover of the men with the nice beards and tattoos. I feel like because that’s known, here comes temptation–in my inbox, at Wallyworld (Walmart), at the gym.
But honestly, it’s laughable to me. Because these days, I’m living true to one of my favorite tee quotes from my sis, owner of the sexless tribe, Shakia Seabrook, “Find God, then come find me.”
If you ain’t saved saved, if you can’t pray for us and my kid, if you can’t really get down with any scripture outside of John 3:16, you ain’t for me bruh. You can keep your, “good morning beautiful” messages. That’s sweet and trust me, I’m so flattered because words of affirmation will forever be my thing, but I’m waiting on greater in the love department. And I have full confidence that God will not let me down in that area. I’m believing that He’s got a love story that will blow my imagination out the water.
One thing I am learning though, is that everyone will not always be on board with my faith. My faith may seem laughable, it may seem crazy, it may seem down right stupid to some. But it’s MY faith. And I am DONE letting anyone try to make me lower my faith down to a stump.
I’m just out here tryna be a Peter in a world that has a few doubting Thomases. And don’t get me wrong. I am a Thomas, too most days. But I want my Peter days to outweigh my Thomas days. (For anyone who does not know my Thomas reference, google why people call him doubting Thomas).
I want to be on that water like Peter.
Matthew 14:22-33 (click link please and read about Peter)
Ok, so Peter did sink.
But did you miss the beauty in that?
Peter was the one who got out the freakin’ boat.
It was plenty other people in that boat just watching, waiting to see what would happen.
I used to be that person. I don’t wanna be anymore.
When Jesus calls me, I want to ask, “Is that You, Lord?” And when He says yes, I want to come after Him.
In the water, in the unknown, in what has scared me….I want to be wherever my Savior is.
I am not brave. Not at all. But H.G. (Holy Ghost/Holy Spirit) makes me brave.
So every single day, I’m gonna wake up, depending on H. G., being a light in a world of darkness, pointing to the One who continues to fight for me and work on my behalf.
I don’t know what’s to come God, but I’m tryna trust You.
You’re fighting for us, whether I see it with my natural eyes or not.
Help me to remember that as I get out that boat and walk on water to get to You.
Dear God, for so long, I was scared of attacks from the enemy for living for You.
I was scared I could not handle it and that I was too weak to deal with it. And it’s true.. I am too weak.
But Your Spirit is strong! Your Spirit makes me not back down. Reading Your Word has made me feel like I can trust You. I won’t lie, though, I have days where I doubt You and question You and I cry because I want things my way. But I’m slowly starting to trust in Your sovereignty. I am starting to believe that You indeed want Your very best for me.
You call me Yours. You call me daughter. You call my set apart. You say that I am Yours (man, I still can’t believe that You choose to claim me after every mistake I’ve made).
I’m so blessed that Your Spirit is in me and every single believer of Jesus Christ.
I’m amazed at how You love me and that Your love indeed is never ending.
Please help me to wake up daily with the mindset of wanting to surrender to Your will and Your way, even if it got me out here lookin’ cray.
I don’t want to worry about pleasing man anymore; I want only to worry about pleasing You.
After every single thing You have done for me, it’s the least that I can do.