So I’ve been really really exhausted lately. Between work, being a mom, going places to avoid trouble and boredom, keeping up with old friends, establishing new friendships…
Ya girl is tired, y’all.
I feel so bad saying this, but with the blessed help of co-parenting and Ethan being taken to school by his dad, I’ve been forgetting to get my child FROM school which leads to mom guilt, which then leads to negative thoughts, which then leads to me just feeling overstrained and overdrawn emotionally.
I’m a mess.
My brain wants to shut down.
Have y’all ever felt that way?
What’s even more draining sometimes is the over complication of my relationship with God. Don’t get me wrong. I love Him so so much. But sometimes I feel like I’m talking to that teacher from Charlie Brown. You know the one.. she was never seen and her voice was all muffled and the watching audience never knew what he or she was saying.
Like most days I feel like I’m straining to hear God. I feel like I’m doing and doing—reading the Word, listening to more Christian stuff, checking off my spiritual checklist.
I feel like I’m chasing the wind and I’m out of breath. I feel like God is the wind I’m chasing and I just can’t seem to catch Him.
This morning though, there was no gym, there was no me rushing out the door or creating a to do list before my day begins. This morning, there were just my tears. Tears to God, frustrated tears, tears of disappointment.
I’m so grateful to God because He ALWAYS knows perfectly how to handle my meltdowns. He knows how to redirect my feelings. He knows the perfect ways to give me comfort.
And guess what I thought about while praying this morning….
Big from Sex and the City.
Yes, I know that show is not g-rated, but my mom and I loved it and I especially loved the first movie. And because I’m SUCH a sucker for romance, the first couple of minutes of the movie had me swooning. Please indulge me a bit and watch the clip below for full context of what I’m about to say.
That last line was EVERYTHING to me and I felt like God was saying, “Key, I got it.”
I worry sooooo much! I worry about finding love, Ethan driving one day, the economy being trash, people being hateful, loss of those I love (and I’m talking I fear losing people that are still with me 🤦🏾♀️). I stress and fear and stress and worry.
But what is the point of praying if THIS is my response??
What’s the point of telling unbelievers that they should believe in my God if they see me all stressed out, tow up emotionally, and acting like the sky always falling?
I have GOT to trust God and what I know to be true of Him, His heart, His character.
My God is omniscient (all knowing).
My God is omnipresent (present everywhere).
My God is omnipotent (all powerful).
My God says…
“Stop fighting and know that I am God! I am the one who defeats the nations; I am the one who controls the world.”
Psalms 46:10 ERV
Y’all, our God controls the world.
Big could not have said a better line to warm my heart and mimic God’s message to us today:
“I got it.”
May we take every worry, every fear, EVERYTHING to the feet of our God and leave it there. Jesus paid more than a pretty penny so that we may have life to the full, so let’s show Him we trust Him and live out that full life. May we READ the Word of God, TRUST the Word of God and LET God be God.