The after party

I watched this alcohol ad the other day and I LOVED it. I’m just being real.

It was centered around one of my favorite singers from the 90s and it was all festive and holiday themed. She was flowing around her party pourin’ up drinks for everyone and they were all cheesin’ and dancin’ in sync and stuff.

It was a good time, feel good vibes.

And yeah, in the end, I think the ad reminds you to “drink responsibly,” which I’m sure the makers of the ad or the curators of the drink prob think they’re good and they did their part with that little disclaimer blurb thing at the end. But man.

That commercial made me think of the devil and sin.

Yep, I’m getting too deep over a less than 2 min commercial.

When the party’s over though, what then?

To me, the commercial reminded me of how the devil always shows you the party, but never what happens after.

It’s like, he leaves you with that crappy disclaimer while he leads you down to heck.

It’s wild to me.

But can I be totally real with y’all??

Sometimes I miss the drinks. Sometimes I miss the party.

Like I reallllyyyy miss em’.

I miss a good, tall glass of sweet red wine. I miss the tangy tartness of a perfect Patron margarita.

I miss letting a drink relax me to the point where I just didn’t care about that bill being due or me not havin’ a man.

I sit and think sometimes and wonder if my friends will ever not feel a little hesitant when they pour a glass for themselves and sometimes I wanna say, “Screw it…pour one up for me, too.”

I fear never being able to experience Napa cuz of COURSE my wanna-be-bougie self wants to go there, but I don’t know if I can fully enjoy it without taste testing the wines. And I really reallyyyy wanna taste test them wines.

I miss the party. I miss the happy hours. I miss it.

What I don’t miss is the after party.

To me, the after party is the hangover.

It’s the being late to pick up your kid from daycare cuz you out hangin’ at a bar.

It’s the entertaining some random dude that YOU KNOW ain’t right, but you don’t care cuz you’ve had a few and suddenly he don’t seem that bad.

It’s the waking up, with the same problems, and fears, and loneliness and emptiness that you definitely had the night before, but it all was numbed or blocked in your mind for a brief moment because it was buried in your illusion of drunkenness.

Yeah. I don’t miss that.

“Sin will take you farther than you want to go, it will keep you longer than you want to stay, and it will cost you more than you want to pay.”

I remember I heard that when I was younger from our youth minister. Even at that age, I knew he was right, but my young mind didn’t take it serious.

Well, Minister Allen, KeyKey understand (as he called me) is taking it serious now.

“If you serve sin as your master, it will pay you with death. But if you belong to our Lord Jesus Christ, God gives you a gift! That gift is life with God for ever.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭6‬:‭23‬ ‭EASY‬‬

Why am I refraining from pourin’ it up?

Cuz I love that gift of life. I love the life I have in God.

I love waking up to Him. I love being able to not worry about anything impeding on our time together and drinking always did that.

I don’t know what your struggle or vice is and maybe you ain’t got one.

If so, lucky you. You should applaud yourself. But pray for us out here who do. It be hard out here sometimes for us. The holidays are here and so are the reminders of loneliness, depression and its friends—sadness and pain. You have no idea what people could be experiencing behind closed doors. That person who’s the life of the party may go home to darkness and nothing.

Be mindful of that. Be mindful of people. Check in with those that cross your mind out of nowhere. Love on those around you. I know I’m rambling, but I just had to get that out cuz some people don’t say everything they’re going through and sometimes we find out too late.

Let’s not find out late.

Let’s love. Let’s submit these struggles we have to Jesus. He understands our weaknesses. He’s with us in our pain.

I will continue this journey of sobriety.

For the friend I lost.

For the son I love and wanna be better for.

For the God I serve.

For the Savior who suffered so that I can be free.

Jesus, I love You so much.

Take my struggles. Keep me free.

I’ll love you forever,

Key♥️