I have dreams that just won’t die.
And it’s frustrating to have dreams, but no way of knowing what the outcome will be.
For anyone that knows me, I’ve had the SAME dreams year after year after year after year.
And they just.won’t.die.
Marriage.
Becoming a real writer (whatever that means cuz I still don’t know what I mean by “real”).
Having The Writings on My Heart be an actual business.
But those are just a few. I mean yeah, I gots more shallow dreams like, I wanna be driving a G wagon or sum, but that ain’t what I’m talking about right now.
I’m speaking of dreams that just won’t shake.
Stuff that keeps my brain going.
Stuff that I’m sometimes like, “God, I don’t wanna care about this anymore because things are just not happening in the time I want it to.”
I wonder if Joseph felt like me most days….
Joseph is an incredible character in the book of Genesis.
I love his story.
My grandfather’s name was Joseph and it was the first tattoo I got when he passed.
Joseph is special.
He is the perfect example of rags to riches.
He’s known as the dreamer, the dude that was given the coat of many colors by his dad (which, when you think about it, was messed up. His dad had like 10 or 11 other sons I think, so whyyyyy would you single out ONE with a dope coat???!) ANYWAY, like I was saying, Joseph’s story is inspiring. He was a teen when he shared his dreams with his brothers (who couldn’t stand him by the way) and his dreams were something else.
“One night Joseph had a dream, and when he told his brothers about it, they hated him more than ever. “Listen to this dream,” he said. “We were out in the field, tying up bundles of grain. Suddenly my bundle stood up, and your bundles all gathered around and bowed low before mine!” His brothers responded, “So you think you will be our king, do you? Do you actually think you will reign over us?” And they hated him all the more because of his dreams and the way he talked about them.
Soon Joseph had another dream, and again he told his brothers about it. “Listen, I have had another dream,” he said. “The sun, moon, and eleven stars bowed low before me!” This time he told the dream to his father as well as to his brothers, but his father scolded him. “What kind of dream is that?” he asked. “Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow to the ground before you?” But while his brothers were jealous of Joseph, his father wondered what the dreams meant.”
Genesis 37:5-11 NLT
Joseph had some wild dreams. But I’m pretty sure he had no clue that his wild dreams would take his story on a wild turn.
“When Joseph’s brothers saw him coming, they recognized him in the distance. As he approached, they made plans to kill him. “Here comes the dreamer!” they said. “Come on, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns. We can tell our father, ‘A wild animal has eaten him.’ Then we’ll see what becomes of his dreams!”
Genesis 37:18-20 NLT
His brothers didn’t end up killing him, but they did sell him into slavery. Joseph spent his youth being a whole slave. Read on to Genesis 39-50. I PROMISE it’s a good read and if you don’t feel like reading, do audio! In it, you’ll see the progression of Joseph’s life and how his dreams really did come to pass years later.
Years. Later.
And ion see nowhere in that story where God gave Joseph the rundown on when the dreams would be fulfilled or how.
If God had told Joseph, “I got big dreams for you, kid. But you’re gonna get betrayed by your brothers. You’ll get sold into slavery and taken to a foreign land, away from your dad that you love and the place you were raised. You’ll be falsely accused of messing with a head honcho’s wife and thrown in jail a few years. This will be your fate, but your dreams will come true in the end,” mannnn, Joseph prob would’ve said, “no thanks” and kept tending his daddy’s flocks.
But God didn’t give Joseph the plan, only the dreams.
And you wanna know what I admire most about Joseph? His trust in God.
Joseph went through allllllll that he went through and in the end, when the dreams were fulfilled and his brothers needed his help, he said these words that I just LOVE to read—
“But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.”
Genesis 50:19-20 NLT
Joseph held on and had an unwavering trust in God.
I’m jealous of that.
I love God so much. But do I always trust Him?
Not always.
To admit that out loud feels weird, but it’s true. It’s why I try to control my love life sometimes or I try to move ahead of God in things I want to happen.
It’s like I got this never ending internal tug of war going on inside me.
I know I should trust and I’ve seen what God can and will do for me.. but HOW LONG do I have to wait for MY dreams to come to pass?
I feel like I’m mimicking David in the Bible sometimes—
“O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?
Psalms 13:1-2 NLT
I feel like this.
Often.
All the time.
But what’s wild is, I feel like that one minute and the next I feel exactly what David feels in this same passage where he was all like “whoa is me.”
“But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.”
Psalms 13:5-6 NLT
He is good to me.
God. My Daddy. My Hope. My Strength. My Life— You are good.
I wanna know the plans, but if God gave me the rundown for real, I’d prob say, “no thanks” and go on about my merry way.
Instead, I just gotta keep dreamin’. I gotta keep believing that God will always work everything out for my good even when I don’t understand why my fine self still rollin’ solo.
I gotta trust that God not only knows the desires of my heart, but He cares about them, too.
He sees the unseen, knows the unknown and hasn’t failed me yet.
So yeah. I’ll cry myself to sleep sometimes, but through those tears, I’ll trust You.
Because I’ve seen what You can do.
And I know You love me.
I’ll trust You. I will trust You.
God, I will trust You with my dreams.
God, I will trust You with my heart.
I’ll love you forever.
Love,
Your Daughter, Key♥️
