Do not worry

I woke up this morning anxious.

Anxious about my finances and Christmas gifts.

Anxious about the stupid zits on my face.

Anxious about if my shoes will fit right for a Christmas party.

Anxious about my future.

It’s wild to me that I can love God so much and yet not trust Him with my day to day. I often don’t even come to Him with these petty worries because a little part of me be thinking:

Is He really gonna help me? Is He really gonna come through for me? Does He really care? He feels so far away.”

All this stuff was running through my head this morning and as I laid in bed, I recalled these two scriptures:

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.

Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John‬ ‭14‬:‭27‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I thank God for His Word.

I thank Jesus for peace, peace that’s promised to us.

Those scriptures are so sweet to me. But can I be honest?

I love Jesus and all, but I get so exhausted from life sometimes.

I told God this week that I be feeling like life is always this constant up and down, with highs and lows and I’m just tired. One minute I’m doing well, the next I feel like the troubles of life just won’t leave me alone and I feel like I’m drowning in worries and the cares of this world. There’s always some new thing or old thing that pops up in my mind to worry about.

Am I being a good enough mom?

Will I forever feel like I’m living paycheck to paycheck?

Will I just wake up one day and NOT desire marriage cuz I see God doing nothing and He ain’t saying it will or won’t happen…

But then I think of Jesus telling me this…

“So I tell you, don’t worry about the things you need to live—what you will eat, drink, or wear. Life is more important than food, and the body is more important than what you put on it. Look at the birds. They don’t plant, harvest, or save food in barns, but your heavenly Father feeds them. Don’t you know you are worth much more than they are? You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it.

And why do you worry about clothes? Look at the wildflowers in the field. See how they grow. They don’t work or make clothes for themselves. But I tell you that even Solomon, the great and rich king, was not dressed as beautifully as one of these flowers. If God makes what grows in the field so beautiful, what do you think he will do for you? It’s just grass—one day it’s alive, and the next day someone throws it into a fire. But God cares enough to make it beautiful. Surely he will do much more for you. Your faith is so small!

Don’t worry and say, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ That’s what those people who don’t know God are always thinking about.

Don’t worry, because your Father in heaven knows that you need all these things. What you should want most is God’s kingdom and doing what he wants you to do. Then he will give you all these other things you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Tomorrow will have its own worries.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭25‬-‭34‬ ‭ERV‬‬

Man.

Truth be told, I been on the go so much, that I haven’t sat with God to truly allow Him to minister all that to my anxious heart. He doesn’t want me worrying. He doesn’t want us running around scared that the sky gone fall.

He wants our trust.

And doesn’t He deserve that trust?

I know I always think on the things that didn’t work out for me or the people I love who are no longer here. I think about the guys I gave my heart to that I really really wanted to choose me that didn’t. I think about the times I’ve failed as a parent. And I question God’s love for me.

But what about the things that DID work out for me?

What about the doors God opened and the great opportunities He’s placed within my reach?

What about the fact that He healed my heart from men that didn’t deserve it in the first place?

What about the friends and family and church that He HAS blessed me with? The ones I get to love right now.. the people I get to do life with, those I love and that really for real love me back??

What about my son telling me he loves me, coming in my room randomly doing stupid dances and giving me the best hugs?

What about the fact that Jesus chose me..He chose us, when He suffered and died and rose to sit next to God and pray—for us.

“Who can say that God’s people are guilty? No one! Christ Jesus died for us, but that is not all. He was also raised from death. And now he is at God’s right side, speaking to him for us.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭34‬ ‭ERV‬‬

He prays for us, y’all.

And truly, that should be enough for me.

I worry and worry and worry, but God and Jesus looking at me, and you, and all of us, discussing us, wanting the best for us, wanting us to feel the love they so freely offer.

I may worry, yes, but I serve a God that is bigger, greater, stronger, and more faithful than anyone or anything that may come at me.

May we trust the Word of God.

May we present our requests and worries to God no matter how big or small they are.

Jesus says don’t worry.

I’ll try Jesus. I’ll try.

God, I thank You.

You know we naturally worry and You put Scripture before us so that we’ll know exactly how we should respond.

I love You for that. I love that none of our feelings catch You by surprise.

Today, I accept Your peace, Lord. May the reader or listener of this blog accept Your peace.

Today, I say thank You for allllll the things You have done. Things may not have always worked out the way I wanted, but I choose to believe that You have and always will work things out for my good.

You are a good good Father—kind and compassionate, merciful and loving.

What did I ever do to deserve such a love?

May I believe every single thing You say.

May I trust that You’ll NEVER leave or forsake me.

May I walk by faith even when I cannot see what’s ahead.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell with You forever.

I love You, my God, my love, my life.

Love,

Your daughter

Key♥️