My dad gets on my last nerve.
Why, you may ask?
Because he’s insanely and frustratingly optimistic.
It’s never a bad day to my dad.
Well, for the most part.
For my dad to show he’s had a bad day, you had to have really upset him somethin’ fierce. (Yes, I said somethin’ fierce..I don’t know why I used that phrase, but it just fit, lol).
For those who don’t know the story of how my dad and I met, I told that story already in a previous blog. But to keep you from going and finding the blog titled, ‘Daddy’s Girl,’ I’ll try to summarize as best I can.
I didn’t meet my dad until I moved to Texas years ago (I’m horrible with dates and figures, so don’t ask how long ago..just know it was a few years ago). When we met, it was so weird. It was like we started a relationship as if no time had ever passed between us. Movies, music, laughin’…that’s me and dad all day. Yes, we have our bumps in our relationship like anyone else, but I love my dad and I love that he is in my life. Some may wonder if I feel any anger or bitterness about the time or moments or memories he missed in my life.
Nope. Not at all. I thank God that I have him in my life NOW.
My dad is my cheerleader. My dad has a heart of gold. My dad is the bees knees (lol).
What I love the most about my dad is the thing that my mom says she loves about him..he has soooo many qualities that mirror my grandfather.
My grandfather. Joseph L. Davis…my grandfather was an amazing man.
He always told me that because I was a Davis, I could do anything.
He’d smile at me as I’d be holding on to any notebook and pen I could find in my grandmother’s office (I LOVED raiding my grandmother’s office–grandmother, if you’re reading this or listening to this, I owe you some notebooks and pens. Forgive me please!)
My grandfather Joseph, whose name was my very first tattoo because I loved him just that much, is someone I miss.
Man, I miss you so much, grandfather. I try my best to block you from my mind because your passing hurts so much. Even now, I can think back on 2005, my freshman year at USM, being in the backseat of the car listening to Trey Songz on a cd player. Trey Songz’s, ‘Gotta Go’ makes me think of you every single time I hear it. It used to hurt to hear that song, but I can actually listen to the whole thing now without wanting to just break down. I think of how we drove all the way to Louisiana only to find that you’d passed away already.
I didn’t even get to say goodbye. No last hug. No last glimpse of your smile..you were just gone.
I wish I could say that back then, I was comforted that you were in a better place. I wish I could say that I trusted God’s plan in the midst of my pain. But I would be lying if I said that. I was angry with God and I was angry at Him for a long time. I just recently told God that I was mad. Of course He knew that already, but it’s something about coming clean to God even when He knows your feelings. It’s so freeing. It was needed.
My heart goes out to those who don’t have their father around, whether it’s due to death or circumstances. I know nothing I say can give you true comfort. What I can say is that I know that God truly is what’s stated in Psalm 68:5. He is a “father to the fatherless.” Whether you realize it or not, God is present. He’s not just present during the joys of life. He’s present in the pain, too. He can fill all voids, heal all hurts, and bind all wounds. It may take time, but He’s patient and He is not shocked by our anger, our hurt, our confusion. He’s just a good Father that way.
Although the loss of my grandfather hurt my heart, I’m grateful because God shows up in the craziest ways.
Somehow, He took all the goodness of my grandfather and wrapped it up and dropped it off at my dad’s door. And my dad, being the lover of gifts that he is (like me, lol), unwrapped that gift and made it do what it do.
My dad loves family.
My dad loves a good laugh.
My dad will give his last to you.
All the amazing qualities that my grandfather had, my dad mirrors them in the most amazing way.
God, thank you for my dad. To have You AND him..man, I’m spoiled and got the best of both worlds.
God, I also thank you that though I experienced the loss of someone I loved so dearly, You’ve allowed me to be a comfort to others, as so eloquently described in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5.
So, I know I’m early for wishing all fathers here and gone on a Happy Father’s Day, but I just want to say I celebrate you.
I celebrate my brother who comes in from his weird shift and grabs my nephew to watch cartoons with him or to tell him what a great athlete he’ll be.
I celebrate my dad, whose hugs and kisses give life… who tells me I’m beautiful and sincerely means every bit of those words.
I celebrate you, grandfather. Even though you passed in 2005, your legacy still lives on. You taught me faith. You showed me, through how you loved me, what it is to love someone with no conditions. All the lessons you taught are still being instilled in me to this day by my amazing grandmother. My grandmother continues to tell me that I’m a writer and she makes me confident that my dreams of being an author is possible. It’s deep down in the soul of who I am that I’m a Davis and I can do anything! And one day, when I write my first book, it’s gonna be dedicated to you, grandfather. I promise.
Y’all, celebrate the good good father and father figures in your life. Thank God for them, hug on them, and show your appreciation for them. They need that. Please. Let them know how you feel as you have the opportunity to do so.
Dear God, You are the PERFECT Father. You know us completely and still, You choose to love us and choose to want a relationship with us. When I’ve been in my loneliest moments, there You were being Father—comforting, loving, and bringing joy in all sorts of ways. I am sure people question the type of Father You are and I’ll admit, sometimes I do, too. But Your Word proves time and time and time again Your impeccable track record.
Your love for us never ends. We’re always on Your mind. You work behind the scenes on our behalf even when it doesn’t seem like anything is happening AND You juggle ETERNITY all while looking over us as we go about our day. You Daddy, are indeed good! All the good, the bad, and everything in between…I’d go through it all over again to get to where I am with You today.
I love You. You have my heart. You have my life. You have me. I celebrate YOU now and always.
My heart is forever Yours,