When I read the Bible, I often feel like I just can’t get down with the Israelites.

I mean, it always seemed like they were either doing something dumb, complaining about something dumb, or acting just plain dumb!

They would experience miracle after miracle, would witness the power of God over and over, and yet they’d STILL not fully trust Him and what He promised.

Welp….that sounds like somebody else I know (me..yeah, it’s me ya’ll).

This is one season where I am COMPLETELY struggling with the “trust in God” part of my Christian walk.

If I can just be completely honest for a moment…I love God. I love Him soooo much, but I don’t really trust Him.

Do I have MOMENTS where I trust Him?

Of course!

But do I wake up every day, with a huge smile on my face, free of anxiety and worry and fear because I know God has every detail of my life covered?

Heck naw. I don’t. I wish I did. But I don’t.

I give the Israelites such a bad rep in my head, when in reality, I am just like them.

Take for instance the time when they had FINALLY became free from Pharaoh and the Egyptians after being their slaves for what I’m sure felt like forever.

Out they go, trekking along and I guess Pharaoh realized that nobody was gonna be able to bring him his grapes or wash his clothes in the river and thought to himself, “Nah, I want my slaves back.”

He goes after them, along with his army, and what do the Israelites do?

Panic. Freak out. Run to Moses with complaints.

“As Pharaoh approached, the people of Israel looked up and panicked when they saw the Egyptians overtaking them. They cried out to the LORD, and they said to Moses, “Why did you bring us out here to die in the wilderness? Weren’t there enough graves for us in Egypt? What have you done to us? Why did you make us leave Egypt?”

Exodus 14:10-11 NLT

I bet Moses’ face was so annoyed. I would be.

They’ve all watched God send plague after plague. They’ve witnessed God’s power. God has ensured that they were free from slavery. If God did all this to free them, why would they think He wouldn’t finish what He started?

Where was their trust??!

Moses was not the one, though. He had full confidence that God would continue to be God.

But Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”

Exodus 14:13-14 NLT

Picture this (in my Sophia from Golden Girls voice)–You JUST got free from years and years of oppression. And then you turn around and see your captors coming after you to bring you back to what you escaped?

WHO WOULDN’T BE IN PANIC MODE?

I sure would be. Yes, yes, I know I JUST was annoyed at their lack of trust, but I gotta be realistic—I’d freak out, too. As much as I wish I could say that I’d run back over in my head all that God had done to ensure my freedom, I’d be filled with fear and anxiety right along with them. 

What happened next though, tripped me out.

Then the LORD said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the people to get moving! Pick up your staff and raise your hand over the sea. Divide the water so the Israelites can walk through the middle of the sea on dry ground.

Exodus 14:15-16 NLT

First off, can I just pause and say that God has SUCH a sense of humor when I’m reading the Bible? I can so hear Him in my head say, “Why are you crying out to me?” lol. 

Anyway, we all pretty much know what happened next. If you don’t, I encourage you to dig into Exodus 14.

In a nutshell, God did exactly what He said He’d do. He parted the sea for the Israelites to cross and when Pharaoh’s army tried to do the same, the sea came back as it was before and Pharaoh’s army died.

God did what He said He would do.

God fought for them. God parted waters for them. All they had to do was walk through the water to the other side. God did the work, and they benefited IMMENSELY for it.

This story is so encouraging to me because it shows me that God is still the God that parts seas. 

I am such an anxious person alot of the time. I worry about the dumbest stuff. I get so frustrated that I don’t know what comes next and I cry out to God wondering when I’ll see what I’ve been praying for. Well, God probably looking at me saying, “Why are you crying out to me??!” 

He’s probably saying, “Key, I got you. Be still. Trust me. I have taken care of you before and I’ll do it again and again and again. Trust me. I will fight for you, just let Me. Surrender and trust. I got you.”

God, I’m trying to trust. Be patient with me, though Lord. 

I’ll get there. Even if I get there slow as a turtle or a freakin’ sloth, I’ll get there.

 

 

Daddy, my God, my Light in the dark places, Keeper of my heart and soul—I love You.

I have mustard seed faith that You’re parting seas for me as I write this—stressed, anxious, and scared about the things going on in my life right now.

I have mustard seed faith that You will exceed every dream of my heart and every desire I could ever conceive.

I have mustard seed faith that You’ll place me in rooms I never imagined, meeting people that I only jokingly prayed You’d introduce me too.

I have mustard seed faith that one day, I’ll walk down that aisle to the man You knew I needed and a man that will love my son as his own. I believe I’ll be able to stand at that altar and tell my one day spouse that I’m so glad God made me wait and that I’m so grateful that God wouldn’t let me settle for ok or good enough or what I thought was the best I could get…I’ll be able to say that my God had better.

I am scared of what’s to come, Lord, but I’m excited, too. You tend to pull people out of comfort zones and into the unknown, but when I look at the Bible, it appears to be that trusting You in the unknown is so worth it.

So God, help me in my struggles. Help me H.G. (Holy Ghost) and empower me every single day. Help me to say no to temptation, wrong choices, and bad habits. Free me from negative self talk and wrong thoughts. Help me to be real with my brokenness, but to know You do Your best work with broken pieces.

Help me to be still.

Help me to stay calm.

Help me to never forget that You. Will. Fight. For. Me.

I love You God, I love You Jesus, I love You H.G.—now and forever.

Your Daughter,

Key♥️