Ok, so I have a fear of the dark.
My 31 year old self HATES the dark.
If I really really think back on why, I really feel like when I was little, my mom left me with a sitter who allowed me to watch some Freddy Krueger movie. To be specific, I think it was the one where he burned somebody up in their own bed. That freaked me out! Like for real for real. So between that creepy movie and me thinking I actually saw shapes moving in my room at night when I was a little girl, you should see why I hate the dark the way I do. (Side note to my mom: This was probably why when I was little, you’d wake up and find me asleep at the foot of your bed).
Darkness is crazy ya’ll. It fools you into thinking you see things that aren’t there. It feeds on fear, secrecy, and shame. That saying about what’s done in the dark will come to light—that alone should warn you that you shouldn’t think you’re hiding anything, especially from God. People play themselves when they think that what’s done in the dark, stays in the dark. I’ve even played my own self by thinking that. It’s like we think we get away with something not realizing that even if a person doesn’t witness what was done, God Himself does.
I hate to burst your bubble and mine, but ain’t no hiding from God.
Psalm 139:12 (NLT):
but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
There it is, written out for you, plain as day. We may think we are getting away with something done in the dark, but nothing escapes the sight of God.
That’s something I wish people really understood! Man, I myself had to get an understanding of that recently.
Take for instance, this week, and times prior to this week, my mom tried to nicely tell me that I need to stop trying to force my family to go to church. I was hot at her. I ain’t gonna lie. I was not trying to understand where she was coming from at all even though I know it was from a good place. My thing is that my mom raised us to make church our second home. So when I have anyone in my family or even some of my friends not going, it disturbs me. I don’t see why I can’t invite people to church if that’s my thing. After being upset and hurt about the whole conversation, I just said, “Well, ok then. I’ll just worry about me and Ethan being saved.”
Key, that ain’t the right attitude to have, though.
First of all, at the time I was inviting family, it was more of a pride thing than a “this is from my heart” thing. Yep, God called me out on this thing I thought I could hide, and I had to repent. After that, I got to thinking–I can so invite whomever to church. If they don’t respond, so what? I asked and if I asked more than once, well, so be it.
I mean hear me out. If your best friend was getting on a plane that you knew would crash and kill him or her, what you gone do?
Let your bestie get on that plane? Not concern yourself with the welfare of the person you claim to love and care about so much? Or would you do everything in your power to stop your bff from getting on that dang plane???
I don’t know about you, but there is no way in heck I’d allow that to go down on my watch.
Bestie would be dragged through that airport by me before I’d let a toe touch that aircraft.
Now, I did tell God I’d back up from church invites unless He really makes it plain to give out an invite, but I can’t apologize at all for trying to get people excited about church or about Jesus.
If I see anyone in my family or anyone I care about going down a path that I know they need to avoid, or living in a way that is contrary to the Word, ain’t it my responsibility to let them know??? I mean, they’re being blinded by darkness, right?? The more I thought about this whole thing, the more I realized that maybe church invites aren’t what I need to be extending. To be honest, I should be asking a bigger question which is: Do you know Jesus?
I need to stop being scared to ask that outright because truly, if you don’t know Him, you walkin’ in darkness and it’s time to turn that light switch on before it’s too late.
Jeremiah 13:15-16 (NLT):
15 Listen and pay attention!
Do not be arrogant, for the Lord has spoken.
16 Give glory to the Lord your God
before it is too late.
Acknowledge him before he brings darkness upon you,
causing you to stumble and fall on the darkening mountains.
For then, when you look for light,
you will find only terrible darkness and gloom.
Man, the Word of God reveals so much truth!
God truly is the Author of my Faith. His Word never ceases to amaze me at all. I never even knew this passage existed until I just opened my Bible randomly and landed on it.
What this passage is saying to me is that now is the time to realize what we doin’ ain’t workin.’ Playin’ church ain’t workin.’ Thinkin’ that we can ride our mama’s salvation coattail is not gonna do. WE have to wake up. WE have to seek the light. WE have to be the ambassadors of Christ that God has called us to be. It’s time to hold each other accountable, seek a community of Jesus followers to help on your walk, and get to know Jesus for yourself. If we continue in darkness, it’ll consume us. We’ll be seeking the light and will no longer be able to find it. That’s scary, ya’ll!
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to stumble in darkness. I want the truth of God on my heart. I want His Word to continue to be a light for me.
This may not be the most popular blog post, and that’s ok. I can’t always write fluff stuff. God is great, and yes, God is good, but God is just, too. He will extend mercy, and He will extend grace, but I no longer want to teeter totter with sin so that I can bet on God coming through for me with His mercy and grace. God deserves better than that.
So, yes mama, I’ll try not to force church or Jesus on to anybody. To be honest, it’s God who will work on their hearts anyway. I’ll do my part by continuing to pray for my loved ones. But for this post, let this be my invitation to the world to ask yourself if you know Jesus. Ask yourself, are you functioning in darkness or living in the light of Christ? Have you accepted the Lord’s invitation or are you choosing to deny Him?
You may not fear the dark, but you should fear being in that place if God Himself will allow you to stay stumbling there if you don’t turn to Him.
God, I pray that those reading this will know You and Your Son Jesus Christ. I pray that my words are used to glorify You and only You. I pray that at this very moment, You are changing hearts, changing minds, and changing lives. Make my heart right before you. Make my life line up with Your Will. Now and always, I pray you make me a woman after Your own heart. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen and amen.