My son gets on my dang nerves.
I can’t even apologize for stating that because it’s simply fact. He’s at the age of adulthood (11 years old) where he thinks he knows everything, has to comment on everything, and feels his voice should be heard even if no one is saying a word to him.
To say that raising him most days is just plain exhausting is an understatement.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my son. I love having a boy. I love how really protective and concerned he gets about me. I love that he loves God already. I love that he’s all boy because honestly, boys can be a lot of fun. But every single day, I tend to lose my patience with my little angel. I have to remind him to pick up after himself, read, do homework, look presentable, have manners. The list is DRAINING. How can I possibly continue on like this??? God, help me!
And just like the amazing Daddy that God is, He sends help by way of the B-i-b-l-e.
Colossians 3:12-13 (NLT)~
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Ummmm. Say what now God?
And He didn’t pose all of this as something optional. He is saying that I MUST do this. I MUST clothe myself with these things–mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience….ALL the things that don’t come easy; all the things that I feel depleted of as soon as my feet touch the floor each day. Not only must I clothe myself with all of this, but I gotta make allowances for people’s faults. I have to look at my son everyday and show him the same grace and patience that God shows me.
Wow. That’s heavy and that’s a lot and it seems impossible.
It truly is impossible, but I have a God that tells me that all things are possible with Him (Matthew 19:26).
That’s the key. On my own, I can’t be the patient and kind mom that I wish I could be. But if I lean on the Lord, if I depend on Him to help me, if I understand that I won’t be a Mother Teresa overnight, but that change as big as that takes time, then I will be ok. God, I’m ready to change these clothes of mine. I’m ready to strip off the impatience, the frustration, the rough and mean mommy and get dressed up in the clothing You say I must wear.
God, I love You. I love how You are so patient, so kind, and so full of mercy. I love that each day I open my eyes, You are there, kindly instructing me on what I should and should not be doing. Help me to wake up in the right clothes. Help me to wake up in the right mindset. Show me how to take off anger, take off that impatience, take off all that doesn’t bring You glory, and put on what pleases You. I want so bad to be a light in the world, in my home, and to my son. I want so bad to make Your heart smile. It seems so impossible most days and I fail and fail and I get frustrated and want to give up. I just can’t though. Jesus, you paid too dear of a price for me to give up. So today and every single day of my life, may I depend on You Lord. May I completely surrender and depend on You. And may you continue to never ever fail me.