I am such a freakin’ weirdo.

I have the strangest habit of going online and looking up movie and book summaries, just so I can know how things end, all before I even see the movie or read the book.

Sometimes I’ll have a book in my hand and rush to the back to see how things may shake out.

Yes–it’s weird.

Too bad I can’t do that with my own life, though.

And because of all the unknowns, because I can’t just open up to the last page of my life, I get afraid and nervous and terrified about all the what-ifs.

What if someone close to me dies?

What if I never marry?

What if some active shooter ends up at my son’s school?

What if I never walk in my purpose?

What if? What if? What if?????!

Fear starts to seep in. Anxiety rises up within me, and I feel like I just can’t handle the not knowing. What do I do with these fears? How do I handle the questions that try to keep me trapped under the covers, away from the world and all its unpredictability?

But God.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. (Isaiah 41:10, NLT)

Man, God really has a way with words, doesn’t He?

He knows that I love to know what’s next. He knows that I’m all about having a plan. He knows how much I constantly question Him about revealing this or that. He knows I want to know what the next chapter of my story is so that I can prepare. He knows allll of this, and yet His instruction is to just stop. Stop being fearful. Stop being afraid. Stop trying to figure out life on your own. Stop trippin’ and start trustin’.

I think we may read Isaiah 41:10 and totally miss how powerful this scripture is. The scripture is already giving the assumption that we’ll be afraid, but He’s telling us don’t be. Not only that, God is saying HE is with us! HE will strengthen us and HE will help us. Nobody in the world can give the strength that God gives and nobody, NOBODY could EVER give the help that God can give. Most importantly though, I think we often miss that God is with us. That’s such a beautiful fact that I’m just starting to embrace and love. God is with me. God is with you. He ain’t off somewhere hiding behind a cloud. He is not far removed from your situation. He sees your tears. He hears the cries of your heart. He knows your story, from beginning to end. He knows you have questions and although He does have all the answers, He knows if He gave us all the answers, we’d probably act like we have no need for Him or we’d freak out with the details and be too afraid to step forward. He is God. He is with us. He will strengthen us. He will help us. It’s time for me to stop letting fear grip my heart. It’s time to stop thinkin’ that I’m alone and doing life solo. I’m ready to trust God and stop being afraid.

Dear God, whom I often refer to in my prayers as Daddy, because to me, that is such a close and beautiful term of endearment especially because I’m your daughter–thank You for Your Word. Thank You for knowing that we’d be fearful in life, but still instructing us to trust You anyway. You got this. You got us. Life is filled with twists and turns, but You’re right there in the seat of life with us, leading us, comforting us, and loving us as only a good Father can. Help us to remember that You truly are with us. Help us to call out to You when we’re confused or afraid. Help us to stop trying to live life apart from You. We can’t. We weren’t made to. Bless anyone reading this right now. Help the reader to feel a pull on their hearts to call out to You, just have a conversation with You, and trust that You hear them. Thank You, God. Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for making me brave. I love you, now and always.

-Key