I’ll tell you a secret about me.
I’m freakin’ jealous of people.
I HATEEEE this about myself, but I am. I’m especially jealous of people who have written books or completed podcasts or who’ve taken on speaking engagements or are invited to panel discussions (esp on the topic of Christian singles & dating)..I’m basically jealous of people out here livin’ the freakin’ dream that I myself wanna live. I get sooo jealous when I find out someone has created a Bible plan or a devo.
I wanna do devos too, Lord!
I wanna write, and create, and do things. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna.
But through the jealousy and crazy emotions and my internal and actual confession to God with my mouth, that, “Yes, Lord– I’m jealous,” I find that God is always giving me just what I need even when I don’t think I need it.
He gives me a word through one of my FAVORITE writers in the Bible–Paul.
“It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work.”
1 Corinthians 3:7-8 (NLT)
It doesn’t matter.
God does the true work to change hearts, minds, lives.
We’re just doing our part.
The other people who are doing exactly what I want to do–they have people in their sphere, in their environment, that they have to touch and reach. I may never ever see those people, but they do. So they are staying in their lane and doing their thing, while I’m in my lane doing mine.
I don’t have to be jelly. I really don’t.
God knows all my “I wanna’s.”
He knows I wanna change the world with my faith and stories. He knows I wanna invest in Christian movies, tv, and music. He knows I wanna travel the world giving encouragement and hope and getting people excited about the Word of God. He knows I wanna let the world know how great He is, how forgiving and redemptive and funny and gracious He is.
I gotta trust God with my “I wanna’s,” even if it’s taking longer to see those things come to pass. Even if it’s me seeing others go before me or go further or maybe even fulfill a dream that mimics what’s exactly in my own heart.
My dreams do matter and my dreams may look similar to others, but we are all either planting or watering. It don’t even matter which one we’re doing, so long as it’s being done and God gets the glory.
So yes, God will have to sometimes deal with my being jelly, but He can handle that and me. My God can do anything and He know what He created (crazy Key, lol).
God, my life is Yours. You gave us Your Son, Jesus. And Jesus, You gave us Your “Yes.” For that, I am eternally grateful. My soul is at rest because I know I’m Yours and that me just having faith in You guarantees me a forever with You. Help me. Help us. Help us to live lives that are for You, for Your glory, fulfilling the purposes and plans You had set out for us in advance. Give us the discernment, the wisdom, the grace, and every single thing we need to do what YOU want us to do, even if it doesn’t look like what we thought or wanted. Help us to not focus on our pace of the race, but to know that we, as believers, are all working to get to the same goal. May we help make Heaven crowded. May we be lights everywhere we go. May we show this world that You are who You say You are, we are who You say we are, and that everything we need is in You.
Thank You. We love You, now and forever.
Love Your Daughter,