Faith.
Per Merriam-Webster, faith is—
allegiance to duty or a person
belief and trust in and loyalty to God
something that is believed especially with strong conviction
Dang. Even Merriam-Webster speaking to my faith in God 🤯.
I talk a ton about faith on my blog and it’s because faith is just so fascinating to me. It’s real to me.
What’s also fascinating to me is just how different our faiths can be.
Some like me believe that God created everyone and everything.
Some think we just evolved from monkeys.
Others believe a big bang happened and BAM 💥! Here I go (insert lil Jon’s voice😆).
And because faith can be so contagious and so beautiful, when it’s displayed, I sometimes wish I had the faith of other people…like when I hear a beautiful Chandler Moore worship song, I wish I had his faith. Or when I hear Sarah Jakes Roberts cut up in a sermon, I wish I had her faith. Or when Ethan’s little 14-year-old self explains his thoughts on the Bible, I wish I had his faith.
I be wanting everybody’s faith a lot of times.. everybody’s faith except my own.
And can I be real with y’all?
Sometimes having faith can be exhausting.
I mean, if you took a field trip in Key’s brain, you’d think I was crazy most days.
I have alllll these jumbled up, creative ideas in my head.
I have a ton of negative self talk going on.
I create lists and dreams, and wishes, and plans and if you took a u-turn in my head and landed in the faith section of my brain, you’d be amazed.
It’s there you’d find that I really do be struggling.
I struggle with the belief that Jesus—beautiful, loving Jesus, decided to come to Earth, live among regular old people, knowing good and well He’d die a horrible, bloody death for some people that may or may not have faith in Him.
Sometimes I struggle with the fact that, back in Jesus’s day, there were many who were crucified. So, what made this Jesus so special?
Was He really born of a virgin?
Did He really die for my sins?
Did He really rise from the dead?
What if my belief system is insane?
What if my faith is fake?
What if I’m doing all this for nothing?
What if I really did evolve from a monkey? (Okay, lemme stop lying. I don’t ever think that and to you who do, bless you, but I think that is even wilder to believe in than Jesus, but that’s just me.. come on! A monkey 🙉? Really??!)
Anyways, thank you for taking the tour of Key’s brain. Y’all come back now, ya hear? Lol.
Seriously though. I really think allllll this stuff, but then I breathe.
Just pause and think about that.
Think about the fact that you’re breathing.
Think about the person you love, that friend that makes you laugh, that co-worker you cut up with. God did that.
God did that.
“The heavens tell about the glory of God.
The skies announce what his hands have made.
Each new day tells more of the story, and each night reveals more and more about God’s power.
You cannot hear them say anything.
They don’t make any sound we can hear.
But their message goes throughout the world. Their teaching reaches the ends of the earth.
The sun’s tent is set up in the heavens.”
Psalms 19:1-4 ERV
Wow.
Just wow.
I love that scripture. The world tells the story of God and all that’s His, all that He’s created.
He created me and my silly, crazy, beautiful mind. He created these feelings I have that doubt one day and believe the other.
He created me, knowing I’d have faulty faith, that I’d fumble in the this faith department over and over, that I’d fail.
He created me, knowing that one day, I’d come to the end of myself and realize that I just can’t do this on my own no more. He knew I’d try it my way and come up empty. He knew I’d seek love from this dude and that one. He knew I’d look for affirmation from people and though they’d give it to me, it would never be enough.
He knew that one day, I’d say internally, “Ok God. I’ve tried the way of the world. I’ve tried what culture commands. I’ve tried ignoring You and doing it my way. I’m tired. I’m so tired, God. Save me. Help me. I’m all in.”
I realized (just yesterday if I’m honest) that I can’t be caught up on the faith of others.
I, Key, gotta have my own faith.
Not faith like my mama or faith like my daddy…not faith like my favorite gospel singer or favorite preacher, not faith like my friend or faith like my son—MY OWN FAITH.
I believe that Jesus died on the cross for little ol’ me.
I believe He rose and that after He did, He was poppin’ up on people before ascending to Heaven (y’all..why I just thought about Usher saying, “watch this”😆…man my brain funny, y’all)
I believe that God took time to create me and the people I love. I believe that He created us in all our messy beauty. I believe He gave us gifts and talents and personality and He created paths and journeys for us to find this person and be friends with that person. I believe He wrote stories for each individual person on Earth all before we even took our first breath.
I believe God saved my life so that I can lead others to Christ.
I believe I’m gone write that book.
I believe I’ll be married to the man of God’s dreams for me, but even if I’m wrong in that belief and I remain single forever, I believe God’ll sustain me and still make my life worthwhile with or without a mate.
I believe God can do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that I can ask or imagine or think. And you know why?
Because I’ve seen Him do it.
And I have faith that He can do it again and again and again. Not just for me, but for you, too.
You can call my beliefs crazy. You can say that I must be insane. You can talk about me however you wanna talk about me, but I believe, I believe, I believe— not in the Universe or a higher power or even in myself (cuz Key fails Key all the time). Nah, I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. I believe in the Holy Spirit.
I believe that the same Spirit (the sweet Holy Spirit) that raised Christ from the dead, dwells in me (Romans 8:11).
My belief is mine even if it sounds crazy and I’m done relying on the faith of others.
Now the only question is this—
What do YOU believe?
God. You’re awesome.
I can’t say it enough. I can’t thank You enough. Most days I feel like I can’t love You enough. You’ve lit a fire in me that I pray never goes out. I know I don’t always do things perfectly and I never will, but that’s ok. Cuz as long as I have Jesus walking with me, I know I’ll be ok.
Thank You. Thank You for creating the people I love. Thank You for the reader (or listener🤗) of this blog. May they hear my passion for You. May it light up a passion within them that’s all their own. May my life, my 180, my complete and total dedication to You inspire a faith in others that cannot be contained.
I’ll love you forever God.
You really did leave the 99 for the 1.
Love,
Your daughter Key♥️
(Imagine Jesus saying this when you having trouble thinking He’ll come through for you)
