“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.” –Matthew 6:30-33 MSG
This morning, I did some bird watching. While walking around my apartment, I stopped my convo with Jesus to look out my window, and watched a freakin’ bird. Well, at first there were two. One who was chirping his little heart out – so cute. Then I guess he was done with his song and flew off. And right when I was about to walk off, I saw he had a little friend perched on the other end of my patio area. He wasn’t singing, though. He was just chillin’, watchin’, looking around. It was like he didn’t have a care in the world. He was just enjoying the song right along with me.
Man. God, make me more like that bird.
Yes, I want to be mindful of what’s going on around me. I want to be watchful. I have to be. I’m a mama to a boy who is quickly becoming a man. I’m a single sista out here in these streets trying not to fall into the trap of what culture says is acceptable in dating (and trust, I’ve tried the culture way – it ain’t it). I have to constantly battle internal fears and worries and thoughts, while externally, trying to be a light in a world that I feel like is constantly asking, “Where is God?”
I have thoughts about my parents – I worry about how they’ll be taken care of as they age. I worry about how to pay for my son’s education–should he go to college? I worry that he’ll make wrong decisions. I worry that one day he may wake up and decide not to want a relationship with me. I worry if I’ll spend the rest of my life alone. I worry about how I’ll fare getting old. Sheesh. I worry. I worry. I worry.
I want to be like that bird, God. I want to enjoy the song of life. I want to enjoy You.
I strongly dislike the fact that I can love God and love His Word, and truly believe in Him, but still struggle to believe in His promises for me. I hate that I struggle to believe He’ll care for me. I hate that sometimes, I even struggle to believe He is real, even though I’ve experienced evidence that He is.
But I think that’s just life. That’s the hills and valleys we’ll go through while walking with Jesus.
I’m trying to be less frustrated with that. I’m human, and God knows it. He won’t ever let me get so far off the path, that I’ll lose sight of His hand. He’s just that good of a Daddy to me.
I have been off the path for a while now. I went back to stuff I said I wouldn’t. I felt like I was too low to come out of the pit I was in. But Jesus. My Jesus. When I’m trapped in my own sadness or mess or sin, His hand pulls me up to Him. I will never ever be able to say enough thank yous for the love and care of my Savior. This love is so sweet, ya’ll. It’s indescribable.
If you’re reading this, and you’re worried, take it to the Lord. Don’t let anyone tell you prayer is useless. It’s not. Even if it feels like it. Trust me, just this week, I’ve been telling God that I don’t feel like He hears me and that I’m not “doing enough” to show Him that I’m trying.
I think I’m missing the point, though.
Yes, He knows everything, and He knows what I’m going to say before I say it, but a relationship is beautiful and grows from talking and spending time together. And just because I can’t see God, doesn’t mean He ain’t there. He is. He probably laughs at my “man list.” He probably got tissue ready to wipe my tears (cuz man I be crying lol). Maybe He even nudges Jesus, like, “Hey, Key about to tell us AGAIN how long she’s been single, and how old she’s getting, like We don’t know already, lol.”
The point I’m trying to make though is – Stop worrying, ya’ll.
God takes care of freakin’ grass and flowers. He takes care of birds. He sees everything. He knows everything. He will not fail us. He won’t. It’s not in His nature.
The book of Job has been blessin’ my life lately (surprisingly, lol). In it, Job says –
and no one can stop you.” – Job 42:2 NLT
NO ONE can stop our God. He’s gonna take care of my mama and daddy. He’s gonna take care of my baby, Ethan. He’s gonna take care of me, and He’s gonna take care of you.
Trust Him. He’s worthy of it.
Abba, Father, Daddy – I love You. I adore You. There is no one on Earth like You. Thank You for giving me the gift of writing. May it be for Your glory alone. I thank You for the hope You give, the patience You show, and the encouragement You ensure I have full access to. Thank You for never giving up on me. May the reader of this know that You haven’t given up on them either. No matter what we may go through, You are a good Father. Please show this fact to whoever may read this today. Show them that You want to hear from them, even if the prayer is just, “help.”
Thank You, Jesus, for Your sacrifice, which gives us full access to God, You, and Holy Spirit. How precious it is to know You. May I know You more and shine a light in a world that needs it, and needs You.
I’ll love You forever,
Love, Key❤️
